Part 2: Attunement and acceptance as your child grows
In Part 1, I gave an overview of “attunement” and how it relates to infants and parents. Today, I’ll be look at attunement as your child grows.
For the grade school child, attunement is being able to consistently attend to them, in moments when they are in sync, and in moments when they are out of sync.
Attunement is not based on anger, frustration, or helplessness on the part of the parent. It is open, authentic, and accepting of the child. It is not based on the parent’s preoccupation with their self or desires for their child. It is also not built on children needing to earn parental recognition. It is the parent’s ability to recognize who the child is outside of the parent, not who parent wants them to be. It is the parent working and accepting the developmental “place” of the child in that moment.
Effective attunement happens when parents express love and care for their child, and communicate in a manner that recognizes the child. It means eliminating sarcasm, criticism, ridicule, contempt, and things like lecturing. Being attuned with your child encourages them to talk and share.
Barry Seigel, MD, states that a mindful parent is present, attuned, resonant, and trusting (P.A.R.T.)
Stay tuned for Part 3: How to be successfully attuned to your child…
What it is and how does it affect my child? Part 3: How to be successfully attuned to your child
